laser lotus
  • About Me
  • Topics
    • All Gaming Style Fashion Beauty Life Personal Development Home Travel
      Gaming

      Before & After: The evolution of my…

      September 21, 2020

      Life

      Why I celebrated my 30th birthday (mostly)…

      February 28, 2019

      Fashion

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Personal Development

      Wonder Woman’s Winter Wonderland

      December 23, 2018

      Personal Development

      5 facts about Jes

      September 30, 2018

      Fashion

      Wonder Woman is a state of mind

      July 30, 2018

      Fashion

      Metallic Rainbow Dress: Pride 2018

      June 26, 2018

      Fashion

      In the name of the moon

      June 17, 2018

      Gaming

      Before & After: The evolution of my…

      September 21, 2020

      Style

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Style

      Wonder Woman is a state of mind

      July 30, 2018

      Style

      Metallic Rainbow Dress: Pride 2018

      June 26, 2018

      Style

      In the name of the moon

      June 17, 2018

      Style

      Warby Parker: “Lily” eyeglasses review

      May 19, 2018

      Style

      3 Cozy & Cute Winter Looks

      November 26, 2017

      Style

      The importance of staying Zen (and how…

      November 14, 2017

      Style

      Simmer down and pucker up

      October 8, 2017

      Fashion

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Fashion

      Wonder Woman is a state of mind

      July 30, 2018

      Fashion

      Metallic Rainbow Dress: Pride 2018

      June 26, 2018

      Fashion

      In the name of the moon

      June 17, 2018

      Fashion

      Warby Parker: “Lily” eyeglasses review

      May 19, 2018

      Fashion

      3 Cozy & Cute Winter Looks

      November 26, 2017

      Fashion

      The importance of staying Zen (and how…

      November 14, 2017

      Fashion

      Simmer down and pucker up

      October 8, 2017

      Beauty

      How to Paint Your Nails Neatly +…

      May 29, 2017

      Beauty

      My everyday skincare routine + Philosophy giveaway…

      January 15, 2017

      Beauty

      Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Cream Kit |…

      July 8, 2016

      Beauty

      Pink + Mint Eye Shadow: Spring Makeup…

      April 24, 2016

      Beauty

      February Favourites 2016

      March 1, 2016

      Beauty

      Era Istrefi “Bonbon” Makeup Tutorial

      February 21, 2016

      Beauty

      Summer giveaway: iPad Mini 3, Smashbox, Tarte…

      June 15, 2015

      Beauty

      Urban Decay Naked 3: Date Night Smokey…

      May 3, 2015

      Life

      Why I celebrated my 30th birthday (mostly)…

      February 28, 2019

      Life

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Life

      Wonder Woman’s Winter Wonderland

      December 23, 2018

      Life

      5 facts about Jes

      September 30, 2018

      Life

      My 1-year shopping ban

      June 6, 2018

      Life

      3 reasons why I relate so hard…

      May 26, 2018

      Life

      Yes, I love the prequels: My Star…

      December 13, 2017

      Life

      The importance of staying Zen (and how…

      November 14, 2017

      Personal Development

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Personal Development

      Wonder Woman’s Winter Wonderland

      December 23, 2018

      Personal Development

      5 facts about Jes

      September 30, 2018

      Personal Development

      My 1-year shopping ban

      June 6, 2018

      Personal Development

      3 reasons why I relate so hard…

      May 26, 2018

      Personal Development

      Yes, I love the prequels: My Star…

      December 13, 2017

      Personal Development

      The importance of staying Zen (and how…

      November 14, 2017

      Personal Development

      4 ways I stay happy and healthy…

      November 4, 2017

      Home

      Undersink Organizing: Bathroom & Kitchen

      October 23, 2016

      Home

      6 Creative Ways to Declutter Your Home

      August 30, 2016

      Home

      Apartment Tour: Grey & White Decor

      May 9, 2016

      Travel

      Autumn in Vegas

      October 16, 2016

      Travel

      Old Montréal (Deuxième Partie)

      August 7, 2016

      Travel

      Santa Monica

      June 30, 2016

  • Wonder Woman
  • Shop
  • Contact
  • Social
    • Twitch
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
    • Discord

laser lotus

  • About Me
  • Topics
    • All Gaming Style Fashion Beauty Life Personal Development Home Travel
      Gaming

      Before & After: The evolution of my…

      September 21, 2020

      Life

      Why I celebrated my 30th birthday (mostly)…

      February 28, 2019

      Fashion

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Personal Development

      Wonder Woman’s Winter Wonderland

      December 23, 2018

      Personal Development

      5 facts about Jes

      September 30, 2018

      Fashion

      Wonder Woman is a state of mind

      July 30, 2018

      Fashion

      Metallic Rainbow Dress: Pride 2018

      June 26, 2018

      Fashion

      In the name of the moon

      June 17, 2018

      Gaming

      Before & After: The evolution of my…

      September 21, 2020

      Style

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Style

      Wonder Woman is a state of mind

      July 30, 2018

      Style

      Metallic Rainbow Dress: Pride 2018

      June 26, 2018

      Style

      In the name of the moon

      June 17, 2018

      Style

      Warby Parker: “Lily” eyeglasses review

      May 19, 2018

      Style

      3 Cozy & Cute Winter Looks

      November 26, 2017

      Style

      The importance of staying Zen (and how…

      November 14, 2017

      Style

      Simmer down and pucker up

      October 8, 2017

      Fashion

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Fashion

      Wonder Woman is a state of mind

      July 30, 2018

      Fashion

      Metallic Rainbow Dress: Pride 2018

      June 26, 2018

      Fashion

      In the name of the moon

      June 17, 2018

      Fashion

      Warby Parker: “Lily” eyeglasses review

      May 19, 2018

      Fashion

      3 Cozy & Cute Winter Looks

      November 26, 2017

      Fashion

      The importance of staying Zen (and how…

      November 14, 2017

      Fashion

      Simmer down and pucker up

      October 8, 2017

      Beauty

      How to Paint Your Nails Neatly +…

      May 29, 2017

      Beauty

      My everyday skincare routine + Philosophy giveaway…

      January 15, 2017

      Beauty

      Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Cream Kit |…

      July 8, 2016

      Beauty

      Pink + Mint Eye Shadow: Spring Makeup…

      April 24, 2016

      Beauty

      February Favourites 2016

      March 1, 2016

      Beauty

      Era Istrefi “Bonbon” Makeup Tutorial

      February 21, 2016

      Beauty

      Summer giveaway: iPad Mini 3, Smashbox, Tarte…

      June 15, 2015

      Beauty

      Urban Decay Naked 3: Date Night Smokey…

      May 3, 2015

      Life

      Why I celebrated my 30th birthday (mostly)…

      February 28, 2019

      Life

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Life

      Wonder Woman’s Winter Wonderland

      December 23, 2018

      Life

      5 facts about Jes

      September 30, 2018

      Life

      My 1-year shopping ban

      June 6, 2018

      Life

      3 reasons why I relate so hard…

      May 26, 2018

      Life

      Yes, I love the prequels: My Star…

      December 13, 2017

      Life

      The importance of staying Zen (and how…

      November 14, 2017

      Personal Development

      My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

      January 9, 2019

      Personal Development

      Wonder Woman’s Winter Wonderland

      December 23, 2018

      Personal Development

      5 facts about Jes

      September 30, 2018

      Personal Development

      My 1-year shopping ban

      June 6, 2018

      Personal Development

      3 reasons why I relate so hard…

      May 26, 2018

      Personal Development

      Yes, I love the prequels: My Star…

      December 13, 2017

      Personal Development

      The importance of staying Zen (and how…

      November 14, 2017

      Personal Development

      4 ways I stay happy and healthy…

      November 4, 2017

      Home

      Undersink Organizing: Bathroom & Kitchen

      October 23, 2016

      Home

      6 Creative Ways to Declutter Your Home

      August 30, 2016

      Home

      Apartment Tour: Grey & White Decor

      May 9, 2016

      Travel

      Autumn in Vegas

      October 16, 2016

      Travel

      Old Montréal (Deuxième Partie)

      August 7, 2016

      Travel

      Santa Monica

      June 30, 2016

  • Wonder Woman
  • Shop
  • Contact
  • Social
    • Twitch
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
    • Discord
Life

Why I celebrated my 30th birthday (mostly) by myself

written by Jes Tongio February 28, 2019

Earlier this month, I celebrated my 30th birthday and it was the best birthday I’ve ever had. That’s mostly because it’s the first birthday I’ve gotten right.

For the record, I have had various types of birthday celebrations — from big banquet halls, to small dinners, to intimate games nights. But what I found was that I’d have one kind of birthday party, not enjoy it, then overcorrect and think I needed to have the exact opposite experience to finally have fun. Frankly, all those birthdays sucked, because they didn’t make me feel good. Why? Because I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do and not what I wanted to do.

How to figure out what you actually want to do on your birthday

I was first inspired to do a solo birthday by L’Oreal Thompson Payton’s blog post Why I decided to celebrate my 30th birthday by myself. L’Oreal also “desperately craved some quality alone time” and that really resonated with me. That prompted me to research ideas for meditation-based experiences and I first landed on a silent retreat idea which I felt, at the time, was a little too on point for me… but I’m definitely saving it for a future birthday.

This process reinforced something important I learned in my late 20s and have been trying to practice in all aspects of life is aligning what you do with what you truly value. So I made a list of my values and how I could translate those into a memorable milestone birthday experience. I also found it helpful to line up those values against experiences I’ve tried, tested, and consider less enjoyable and would want to avoid. The result was this table:

Birthday experiences I want to avoid What I value most
  • Socializing in groups of 3 or more
  • Restaurant / bar venues
  • Staying inside all day
  • Answering calls and messages
  • Negotiating with others over what to do, where to go, what to eat/drink, and watch to watch*
  • Solitude
  • Meditation
  • Relaxation
  • Peace and quiet
  • Going by my own schedule and pace
  • Being untethered from my phone
  • The freedom to choose what to do, where to go, what to eat/drink, and what to watch*

*On a day-to-day basis, many of us consider ourselves to be caring, considerate people; good listeners and compromisers. But when you think about it, we’re always juggling a lot between our own needs and wants and those of the people around us. That’s why for birthdays, I think it’s fair to ask for 24 hours — one day out of 365 — where we only have to look out for numero uno. To me, that means a full day where I could have a break from listening to other people’s stories, compromising on what to watch, and navigating another person’s hunger-related mood swings (managing your own hanger is tough enough).

Additionally, as an introvert with interpersonal anxiety, I generally don’t enjoy social interaction on most days. So for my birthday, I wanted to treat myself to a full day of very limited human contact.

How I spent my 30th birthday

Every year, I like to take two days off work for my birthday. This year my birthday fell on a quiet, snowy Wednesday, and it made me feel like I had the city of Toronto all to myself.

I started the day with my very first hot stone massage at Body In Tune in Liberty Village (171 E Liberty St #133). I love getting massages there because the decor is so similar to my own and thus makes me feel calm and at home. I thought this was the perfect way to start the day!

30th birthday massage at Body In Tune30th birthday massage at Body In Tune 30th birthday massage at Body In Tune 30th birthday massage at Body In Tune

After my massage, I hopped on the streetcar to spend the afternoon on Roncesvalles Avenue. I used the streetcar ride to do some light, observational meditation, taking in everything around me and soaking in feelings of birthday gratitude.

Blocking calls and messaging apps on my phone also helped me minimize my screen time and stay present for the day. While I am grateful for receiving thoughtful messages on my birthday, I did not want to spend any part of the day with my head buried in my phone. So I used the new Screen Time feature on iOS to go into Downtime and block my iMessage. I also activated Do Not Disturb to block calls. I responded to everyone’s messages the next day.

30th birthday Screen Time Downtime on iOS

For my big birthday feast, I went to Café Polonez (195 Roncesvalles Ave). I had only discovered this legendary Polish restaurant last New Year’s Eve, but the chicken schnitzel platter I had that day was one of the best meals I’d ever had and I told myself then that I would definitely be back for my birthday. It was even more of a treat to spend my birthday there because I had the place ALLLLLLto myself! Note: weekdays at 3:30 p.m. are a great time to have lunch if you also enjoy eating in peace and quiet.

30th birthday at Cafe Polonez

After lunch, I found myself at Ecotique (191 Roncesvalles Ave), an awesome eco-minded shop that carries housewares, beauty, and gifts. There, I was drawn to a beautiful upcycled sari robe. I held it up then put it back on the rack at least three times before allowing myself to put a one-day hold on my shopping ban and treat myself to a birthday gift. Not only is the robe gorgeous and ethical, but it also feels amazing and luxurious on my skin. As soon as I got home, I changed into the robe, put on my favourite Zen Garden music playlist, and chilled the night away.

Ecotique Upcycled sari robe Upcycled sari robe Upcycled sari robe30th birthday: chilling at home

Later that night, my dude came over and surprised me with cake, wine, and gifts! One of the gifts was a book I had on my wish list for over a year but could not find anywhere online or in stores. It was really special to receive Geek Art: Pop Culture Now from someone with whom I bond over all nerdy things. When I first discovered the book, I was getting reacquainted with designing Star Wars fan art. Now that I’ve seen the work of all the talented artists featured in the book, I’m inspired to one day have my work featured in a similar curation.

Geek Art: Pop Culture Now Geek Art: Pop Culture Now30th birthday cake

How I spent my 30th birthday weekend

I also wanted the weekend portion of my birthday week to be just as carefully thought out so that it continued to align with what I value and consider to be soul-enriching experiences.

So on the Saturday, I booked an Airbnb experience hosted by a couple who performs classical music in their home. This intimate concert was all about great music, quality conversation, and hanging out with a very friendly cat named Mortimer. Rory and Emily are extremely talented musicians and engaging hosts who also shared some advice about the music industry that motivated me in my quest to become a jazz singer. I would highly recommend this event to anyone looking for a truly unique way to spend an evening in Toronto.

30th birthday - Pocket Concert 30th birthday - Pocket Concert

Then on Sunday night, my friend Karina spoiled me with a candlelit dinner at her place. She said she wanted to take me out to a place of my choosing, but I said I enjoyed “in” way more than “out.” So she was so generous to plan an evening of delicious food, treats, and a movie. She made some super-tasty white wine mussels, baked fresh bread, and even presented me with a fruit tart with a “Happy Birthday” song. Too sweet!

30th birthday candlelit dinner 30th birthday candlelit dinner 30th birthday candlelit dinner

And that’s a wrap on Part 1 of my 30th birthday. Look out for Part 2 where my mom and I go for some fancy afternoon tea at The Omni King Edward Hotel.

How do you like to celebrate your birthday? Lets chat in the comments section below, or on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram!

P.S. Thank you to everyone at Body In Tune, Cafe Polonez, and Ecotique for letting me take pictures in and of your space, and for being so accommodating with taking pictures of me. It was very kind of you all help me document this milestone birthday.

Why I celebrated my 30th birthday (mostly) by myself was last modified: February 28th, 2019 by Jes Tongio
birthday
2 comments
2
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Jes Tongio
Jes Tongio

Jes Tongio is a writer and creative producer based in Toronto, Canada. She previously worked as a journalist for the public broadcaster, writing about sports, lifestyle, science, and more. She is currently a freelancer who specializes in web design, video editing, and graphic design. Jes is also Twitch streamer who is devoted to producing nightly broadcasts and creating a positive space for fellow geeks and gamers. Visit her portfolio | Read more about her »

previous post
My 2019 New Year’s resolutions
next post
Before & After: The evolution of my Animal Crossing island

You may also like

Paris Geller: The amazing, insignificant, invisible girl

The importance of staying Zen (and how...

Karaoke stress relief: How Smule’s Sing! app...

My 2019 New Year’s resolutions

My 1-year shopping ban

Wonder Woman’s Winter Wonderland

Protected: When you and I were forever...

4 ways I stay happy and healthy...

Heartbroken & hopeful: 6 quotes that got...

Saturdate

2 comments

Avatar
Memz March 1, 2019 at 1:54 AM

It was indeed what you needed… a quality alone time. You had your own fun and the best part of it was you did not stress out nor got anxious. Hurrah for you, Jes! I’m ecstatic that you got to celebrate the way you wanted…. I’m so happy for you ?

Reply
Avatar
Lisa Autumn March 1, 2019 at 12:44 PM

YES girl I couldn’t agree more. Birthdays can sometimes put so much pressure on me but it’s important to just do whatever you want. I mostly like to have a lie in, have something yum for breakfast and take myself out for shopping and end the day with some dinner with my family or close friends :)

x Lisa | lisaautumn.com

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Hello beautiful people! My name is Jes and I'm a creative producer, writer, Twitch streamer, Wonder Woman cosplayer, and aspiring jazz singer from Toronto, Canada.

Read more about me ➞

Twitter Youtube Twitch Discord

Subscribe to the newsletter

Never miss a blog post from Laser Lotus. Sign up to get it straight to your inbox!

Book me as Wonder Woman



Would you like to have an authentic Wonder Woman at your next event? Book me to appear as the iconic DC superhero!
More info ➞

Watch my most popular video

A few brands I’ve worked with

 
Daniel Wellington
Kiehl’s
Philosophy
SheIn
Sudio
ThePeachBox
Tobi
Warby Parker
 
Let's collaborate!

You can decide to lean positive, you can decide to give things a silver lining, you can decide to have the glass be half full – as opposed to just feeling like my moods are god, as if whatever mood is passing through me has complete control and I have no say.
— Feist
  • Twitter
  • Youtube
  • Twitch
  • Discord
Footer Logo

@ 2020 – Laser Lotus | Website built by Jes Tongio | Policies


Back To Top